Being still… to hear


Hello my friends,

I have been spending some serious alone time..away from myself.

That sounds funny to me at first for I am alone most of the time.  What I should say is I have worked  hard to shut my human mind down and listen to the one true voice..God.  For me..that is everything.

I have been told so many things regarding myself, and I take some of those things with a grain of salt. Others, I take to heart and spirit, and try to relate or attain revelation as to what it could mean in the theme of my said life. ( some say this is the “why was I born” cry)

Now, I do think and ponder a lot. 

 Let me tell you just one of the things my mom use to say( in exasperation of course) and that is “Jan could beat a dead horse deader” ( is that even a word… really!).  I say of myself now, I am a deep loving and intense person who has the ability to see beyond constraints and hear what others care not to hear.  ( mom got it eventually too)   I am also  funny, quirky and creative. I require two  simple things, they are directional PURPOSE and genuine love. Directional purpose to make sure I do not mess up all the wonderful things that are ahead and genuine love so I am not alone.

To achieve Directional purpose the key is to be disciplined and obedient to what one stands for. In this comes revelation, place, purpose, provision and eventually a reward beyond this earth.

To achieve Love, well, this is such a dichotomy to me. Eternal love I see, feel and know it’s existence.  Human Love, well, I am somewhat of a “fail” in this area.  I hold out hope in all things but I fight not to ponder this area and the so many twists and turns and wounds and scars associated with this. Grace, mercy and peace are a daily request of mine. So for now, this is an unfinished paragraph in my life.

I stand for the Word of God in its purity.  I study it ..meditate on it  and receive knowledge and understanding. Understanding begets strength of conviction, and authority (given by God).   I seek a relationship with a Holy Trinity of power beyond earth and even the heavens we see.

I have been a “born of Spirit” human for a good many years and in truth, as I know it, I am still an infant of 56 years compared to an eternal life that is ahead/prepared for me. my infancy Abba, is teaching me stillness, a deeper and more powerful stillness so I can learn his voice, his commands, his directions above all others.  You see,  AS HIS, I must understand HIS direction and TRUST it blindly. In turn I receive a love that nothing or no one will ever compare.

It is ok for me to be alone most of the I am, in truth, NEVER alone as a Christ follower. We all have to understand that from generation to generation we have been taught some things incorrectly, taught some things correctly with wrong applications and just succumb to the standards that were NEVER meant to be what we strive for.

I have had…and I have naught..I like having naught for I can focus on the one thing I do want…eternity and intimacy with a trinity of power and source..GOD, Lord Jesus and my Holy Spirit.


Tell next thought..jan


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